As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
