Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
