Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
its liver damage thursday
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
