if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
