Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
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He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
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Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
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