my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
