If you die in college, do you die in real life?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
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