North Korea, Best Korea!
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
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