i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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