I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
