i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
We have started to decorate penises.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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