Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
