That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize