but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
