oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
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I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
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Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
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