thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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