I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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