New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
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Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
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I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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