I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Are we in a gay sports bar?
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
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