i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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