4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
kristin has been a bad kristin
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
