Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
