do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
