I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Randomize
