He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
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