What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
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How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Woke up backwards on a recliner
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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