He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize