He is like the real live version of the state fair..
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
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