I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
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