Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
