but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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