I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
