Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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