I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
