if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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