I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
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