All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
