Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
