I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Just invented taco cereal.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Can I color on your dick again?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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