is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
People in love make me want to vomit
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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