Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
A+ Viking dick
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
