i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
