Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
