I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
