on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
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