Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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