i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
