Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
