i don't plan on having that self control this summer
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
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