My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
