Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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