wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
