we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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