Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
