I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
