So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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