I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
