He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
