We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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