she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
